she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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