Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
