So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize