just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
