Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
