I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
