i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A bitchslap is in order.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
