Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
