she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
