I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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