I look better un-naked...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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