I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
