Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
