I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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