That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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