Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
