when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize