Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
3 2 1 whiskey
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
