If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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