yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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