I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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