i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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