Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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