My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
