I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
