There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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