She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
