Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
