She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
