Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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