I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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