Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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