Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
