Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
