i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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