I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
whose parrot is this?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
