Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
