No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
