no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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