If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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