I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
