Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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