fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
