Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
