So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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