i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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