Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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