I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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