Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
