You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
