He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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