And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
