walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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