he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
