Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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