Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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