She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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