I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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