Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
