do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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