1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Two words: blizzard sex
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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