The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
