Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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