This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
