How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
