girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
