All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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