I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
