1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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