If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
