The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
