no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
