So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
