This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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