Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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