I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
They have beer where we have blood.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
