Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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