I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
