i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
