Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
