areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
