Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
