barbara walters just said penis...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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