I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
pray to the hookup gods
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
