girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
