I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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